Andrew

I met Andrew in real life, but we didn’t hang out until we matched on Tinder. You know, when you notice someone but you’re not sure if they’re single and/or interested, so you don’t make a move in real life, but then you see them on Tinder and you’re like oooohhh, okay so they’re single… and looking… But are they interested? Only one way to find out! And you close your eyes and swipe right… and it’s a match! 

Andrew and I originally met a few years ago when I was living up in Tahoe for the summer. We played in the same softball league and he was always super friendly and would say hi to me. We had a couple of short conversations at the bar after softball games, but that was pretty much the extent of our contact. I always thought he was cute; blonde hair, blue eyes, glasses, a beard, and super friendly with a great laugh. 

Then, last summer when I was visiting my mom up in Tahoe, I ran into Andrew again. I had been out doing a little day drinking with my mom and sister. We put away a couple of Wet Woodies, which are delicious blended rum drinks with sexual innuendos for names; such as the Rock Hard Woody, Big Black Woody, and my personal favorite, Krake’n My Woody, which features Kraken spiced rum and a float of macadamia nut flavored rum on top. But I digress. The point is, they’re strong, we were tipsy.

When we got home, my sister wanted to keep the party going! She hardly ever drinks, so when she does, I try to be the best sister I can be and support her. But we didn’t have anything at the house that she liked, so we walked down to 7-11 to get some Fireball. While we were there it occurred to me that we might need some hydration and sustenance so I grabbed a Pedialyte and a DiGiorno pizza and hopped in line. 

And who do I see in line, but Andrew. I said hello to him and then realized I was literally buying Fireball, Pedialyte, and a frozen pizza on a Sunday afternoon, and grew slightly self-conscious.  He looked at my purchases, looked at me, raised his eyebrows, and said, “Looks like you guys are going to do some work.” I laughed. We chatted for a minute, then we parted ways. 

Once I was back home in LA, a few days later, I got on Tinder. And who do I see? Andrew! I stared at his picture, read his profile, and labored over whether to swipe left or right. Not because I wasn’t interested, but because I felt more vulnerable when it was someone I knew in real life. What if we didn’t match? Oh, that’s right, he wouldn’t know that I had swiped right if he didn’t swipe right, so it didn’t matter! It’s amazing the reassurance you can get from the anonymity the internet affords us. I swiped right and shut my eyes. It was a match! I laughed out loud in relief. Then I messaged him. 

Serious question: Did you swipe right before or after the Fireball/Digiorno debacle?

He responded the next day: Haha, I think there was some Pedialyte in there as well 🙂

Didn’t really answer my question but I’ll take it.

It was easy from there. I found out that he was from Hermosa Beach and had a place down here, and he said the next time he was in town we would get together. So we did. He had tickets for a comedy show at the club in Hermosa Beach. I came down and met him at his place, which was walking distance from the club. He made us drinks for the road and we sipped them as we wandered through the neighborhood. 

He told me about his days in Little League as we passed the stadium he used to play in as a kid. We talked about softball and how I liked living in Tahoe for that summer when we met. He told me all about his business setting up technology for smart homes and boats and cars. I told him about my writing and comedy. He was super easy to talk to and I was really enjoying myself. 

Once we got to the comedy club, we had not nearly finished our roadies and we had to chug them on the corner before we went in. The bouncer saw this and gave us a little shit when we walked in, telling us not to heckle or be obnoxious. But we were, of course, delightful audience members. The show was fun. The comedians were great, and it was a fun night. We chatted with one of the comedians outside after the show for a while before heading back to Andrew’s place. 

Once we got back, I came in to use the restroom. His place was a one bedroom with a master bath off the bedroom. But there was NO DOOR. It was just open! What is up with that? This is not the first time I’ve been in a man’s master bedroom and there’s been no door on the bathroom. 

As a woman, I just have to say, I am not about that life. I like a little privacy when I’m going to the bathroom, particularly at a guy’s house. Especially if it’s a new thing and we’re just starting to hang out; I don’t need to worry about a toot slipping out while I’m peeing and having him hear me! I know it’s dumb but it’s stressful for women, so those of you renovating your bathrooms, make sure you put a door on there!

*The More You Know* 

We talked for a few minutes, and I could tell he wanted me to stay. But I wasn’t sure how I felt about Andrew; if I was attracted to him or just liked him as a friend. We stood in his room talking and I was very aware that it was time for me to get out of there so as not to send mixed messages. He was moving closer and closer to me as we talked, and I realized I did not want to stay the night, so I told him I was going to take off. 

As I was saying goodbye, he kissed me. At first just a polite, sweet kiss. Then he went in again, this time in a seemingly more persuasive attempt to get me to stay. I didn’t dislike the kiss, but it did not dissuade me from leaving. So I said good night and I drove home. 

We agreed to get together again, whether it was in Tahoe or LA/Hermosa. But of course, months went by and we were not on the same schedule. He was in Hermosa when I was in Tahoe. I was out of town when he was down here, or he would be on vacation when I went up to Tahoe. 

We texted a little bit. He would send me pictures of a sandwich sitting on a stand-up paddle board in the middle of Lake Tahoe on a crystal-clear day, giving me all the FOMO and making me wish I was there for his floating picnic. I would reply with a picture of the view from my hike in LA, not nearly as spectacular. But we never really fell into a conversation when we were texting. It was usually just a quick hello, check in, and then finding out that we were not, in fact, in the same place at the same time. 

So eventually it fizzled out. We never got that second date, which I think was a shame. Andrew had everything I was looking for. He was sweet, funny, attractive, loved the outdoors, split his time between Tahoe and Hermosa, owned his own business and had a flexible schedule because of it, and he even owned a boat! Oh, the wakeboarding we could have done together! 

Unfortunately, the distance just wasn’t surmountable. When you live eight hours apart, it’s hard to coordinate schedules when you’re not at the point in your relationship of taking a trip specifically for the point of seeing that person. I have seen him more recently, but just as friends, so it’s not a total loss! At least I got to know this awesome guy better and now we’re close enough friends that we can hang out when we do happen to be in the same place. Last time I was up he invited me and my friends over for hot tub and beer, and hopefully in the summer I’ll get to show him my very mediocre wakeboarding skills!

So this is an unusual case for me; I actually made a friend because of Tinder! Sure, I knew him in real life first, but we hadn’t actually spent time together or gotten to know one another until we matched on Tinder.  In all of the times we ran into each other organically, neither one of us had the balls to just ask the other one out. And then Tinder was like, “Hey, I’m sensing a Fireball/DiGiorno love connection over here.” Turns out it wasn’t a love connection after all, but I’m glad I got to know Andrew and to count him as a friend. And not just because of his boat.